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Passion after Pregnancy

by Maxine
Posted August 19 2010 03:18pm
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Before your baby you and your partner may have had a fiery and frequent sex life or a subdued sex life that you hoped to rekindle. After baby you may find that your sex life is in stall mode no matter which category you originally fell in. Changes in your sex life after baby are common, but they can be hard to accept.

In the days and weeks following birth, making love is usually the last thing on a new mom’s mind. She may be in physical pain and she’s also probably exhausted and focused on the needs of your baby. These are all pretty good reasons why her sexual desire is low! Dads too often find that it’s difficult to be passionate for the first little while – the journey through pregnancy and birth and into parenthood can be overwhelming! Sex might not be on either partner’s agenda.

From a medical point of view, most doctors recommend that women avoid sexual intercourse for 6 weeks following birth. You may try love-making earlier than this, but only if Mom's healing has gone well and there are no medical reasons for concern.

Issues That Affect Intimacy

Some couples—men more so than women—have expressed their worries that the romance will never return. There are many things that can impact intimacy.

 

Fatigue
One or both of you may feel you have no energy to even think about sex. Lack of sleep, taking care of your baby, worry about your baby’s and Mom’s health, not getting enough restful sleep—these can all contribute to a sexual disconnection.

Pain
Recovering from birth—especially if Mom had an episiotomy or a Caesarean Section—takes time and, for some women, it may take longer than others. If you make love too early and it’s a painful experience for Mom, it may be more difficult for her to get in the mood again later.

Lubrication
It’s common for new moms to have less natural lubrication for up to 10 weeks after the birth, especially if they’re breastfeeding. Mom, you may find this kind of thing hard to share with your partner…and Dad, you may interpret this wrong and think, “I don’t turn her on anymore.” One short-term remedy that many couples try is a personal lubricant from the local pharmacy. 

Physical Attraction

Some men may find Mom’s postpartum body is not as sexually pleasing as it used to be. They may be uncomfortable with her larger breasts, a larger body overall or a stretched stomach. Along the same lines, some women become concerned that they’re not attractive to their partners. This can affect both of your abilities to become romantic.

Breastfeeding
When Mom is breastfeeding, the baby’s feeding schedule may interfere with those moments when you’re both ready for romance. As well, you may find that full and/or leaking breasts distract you from feeling amorous. One quick fix—try feeding your baby prior to a planned “intimate time.” This may help to decrease any leaking.


Read on to find out What’s Affecting Your Intimacy.
 

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Breastfeeding While Attending Work or School

by Maxine
Posted July 25 2011 07:07pm
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When you return to work or school you might wonder if you can continue to breastfeed. The good news is that you can – it just takes a little planning!

If you’re lucky enough to have childcare where you work or go to school, speak to your employer or instructors about the times throughout the day when you need to breastfeed. These can often be accommodated easily.

If your baby is not in a nearby childcare centre, speak to your employer or instructors about how you plan to manage breastfeeding, especially if you will need to pump or express while you’re there.

The benefits of breastfeeding are becoming increasingly understood. If you're having problems at your workplace or school, one good strategy is to point out that breastfed babies usually don't get sick as often as those who are not breastfed. This means you will most likely miss less time in the future, which will lead to greater productivity in the long run not to mention that you’ll be a happier employee or student.

Work out the details of when and where you'll need to pump: 

  • Try to pump at the times when your baby would normally feed. 
  • Find a private location with a door that locks. 
  • Wear clothing that makes pumping easy. 
  • Plan for storage; this may mean a cooler with ice.

 

In the first few weeks of your new routine, ease into it to avoid exhaustion. To make the transition period easier for everyone, try to keep commitments to a minimum and accept outside help when it's offered.

 

Did you breastfeed while going to work or school? How did you manage? Was your workplace or school accommodating? Share your story with other parents just like you in the comments section below!

 

More information on breastfeeding »

Ask Our Expert!
Do you still have questions about breastfeeding? Our expert, Attie Sandink, is a Registered Nurse and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. Ask Attie a Question!

 

 

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Dad’s Return to Work

by Maxine
Posted August 4 2011 01:00pm
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These days, new dads often have the opportunity to take time off work and spend time with their new baby. While only one parent can take Maternity Leave in Canada (unless the family has twins), fathers often receive a few weeks or even a month or more of paternity leave from their company. Some also choose to take their vacation time to coincide with the new birth.

This is a great opportunity for families to bond and for the new baby to get to know both parents, but it can be tough when it’s time for dad to return to work. Dad might find it difficult to leave his family, even if it’s just for a few hours and a new mom might worry about taking on the responsibility for the baby all alone.

Although there is an increasing number of dads using paternity leave, a majority return to work a few days to a few weeks after the birth of their baby. For both parents, this will mean a huge change, not only in terms of what you do, but also, what you might be feeling.

Dad returning to work can affect the routines and schedules that you have put in place to manage your new roles—who gets up with baby in the middle of the night, or who takes baby to the doctor or who prepares lunch. Balancing your lives around the reality of home and work will be an important challenge for both of you.

New moms may experience the following range of reactions to dad's return to work:

  • Fear ("How will I manage without him?") 
  • Anger ("Why does he get off so easy?") 
  • Worry ("How will Dad manage to work with so little sleep?") 
  • Sadness ("I am going to miss Dad being around all the time.") 

 

Likewise, new dads may go through the following emotional reactions as well:

  • Guilt ("I should be at home helping out with our baby.") 
  • Sadness ("I am going to miss being at home.") 
  • Relief ("Work is so much easier.") 
  • Worry ("I hope Mom is doing okay with our baby.") 

 

To help you both deal with dad's return to work, our experts have created a list of strategies to help both parents cope.

  • Clearly talk about and mark on the calendar when Dad is supposed to return to work.
  • See if Dad's work will allow him flexible hours, and talk about the best time to be at home and the best time to be at work.
  • Talk about the various routines necessary to care for your baby. What can Dad do when he is at home?
  • Plan to accept support from others when Dad returns to work, rather than right after your baby is born, while Dad is home.
  • Share your feelings with each other about how Dad's return to work may affect each of you.
  • Plan a few Fridays or Mondays off Dad, if you can, so you can have some shorter work weeks immediately after you return to work.
  • Keep track of key "baby" moments, Mom, to share with Dad when he gets home.
  • Accept each other's feelings and understand that this is often a difficult transition for moms and dads to make…and you can find a new balance that works for all three of you.

 

How did you cope when your partner returned to work? How did you manage roles and responsibilities? How did you feel? Leave a comment below and share your story with parents just like you!

 

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Safety: How Do I Make My Home Fire Proof?

by Guest
Posted August 5 2010 12:12pm
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Here is a list of basic safety precautions in the case of fire in your home. In addition to the points below, be sure to look carefully around your house for yourself, to see if there are any additional actions you can take to fire proof it for you and your child. But begin by making sure that:

 

  • There is at least 1 smoke detector per floor

  • If the smoke detector is in the hall, the bedroom doors are kept open

  • Any room with bunk beds has a smoke detector - this is a must because smoke rises and the person in the top bunk will be quickly overcome with smoke

  • Escape routes to leave all areas of the house have been planned

 

 

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