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Comfort, Play & Teach: A Positive Approach to Parenting®

by Maxine
Posted July 31 2010 01:22pm

Comfort, Play & Teach is effective and easy to incorporate into your everyday routines. Be a positive parents with Comfort, Play & Teach.

 

Comfort, Play &  Teach: A Positive Approach to Parenting® is our research-informed parenting approach to support healthy child development. These three parenting actions work together to generate responses from children that transform everyday interactions from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Comfort, Play & Teach builds parenting confidence, strengthens the parent-child bond, enriches the moment for the child and parent, and, ultimately, opens a world of possibilities for you both.

 

 

Comfort Your Child

Comfort is the first thing that children need from a parent. When you comfort, with kisses for a “boo boo,” hugs when she is scared or reassuring words and a gentle touch to let her know you are close by, your child feels secure, loved and valued.

 

Play with your child

Play is the “work of children” and you are the most important person in your child’s world. When you join in your child’s play, helping to build a tall tower or pretending to be a king or queen, your child learns to explore and discover the world and his role in it.

 

Teach your child

Teaching is how parents help their children learn. When you teach your child by sharing and including him in your experiences, expanding on the knowledge he has or by being a role model, he learns how to think, solve problems and get along with others.

Why it Works

When you comfort, play with and teach your child, you learn to recognize and support the uniqueness of your child, motivate your child to be all that he can be and establish the foundation of a lifelong warm and respectful relationship with your child.

The approach:

  • Is simple, practical, relevant, easy to understand and to do, with no need for special equipment.
  • Builds on what your child can do.
  • Builds on what you can do as a parent.
  • Helps you understand your child’s current capabilities and the kinds of behaviours and skills
  • you should be watching for and supporting.
  • Gives you the opportunity and choices to support your child’s development based on his age and stage of development.
  • Stimulates a positive reaction from your child, which in turn provides strong, positive reinforcement for you.
  • Is for every parent.
  • Provides a common language for professionals and parents to talk about parenting.

Watch our videos to see Comfort, Play & Teach® in action.

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Night-Weaning Your Baby

by Maxine
Posted August 18 2010 01:51pm
Filed under:

Want your baby to start sleeping through the night? It can happen! But, first you need to begin night weaning your baby. We can guide you through this process with some time-tested Comfort, Play & Teach® strategies.

Generally, it’s okay to start night weaning your baby after he’s 6 months old. But check with your health care provider to be sure there’s no medical reason to continue a night time feeding. Some babies wean themselves, while others are open to it if their parents take the lead.

In many cases, babies cry only a little for a night or two along this process before adapting to going through the night without waking for a feeding. However, if your baby cries inconsolably for several nights in a row, go back to your normal routine and try again in a week or two. He may be going through a growth spurt and need that feeding to satisfy his hunger.  This is not spoiling him. In this situation, you are not training him to get what he wants by crying. Instead, you will be responding to his needs—and this is a good thing.

Our experts have created the following Comfort, Play & Teach® activities to help you night-wean your baby.

Comfort

  • Timing is everything. Don't try night weaning if your routine is changing or about to change—especially if you’re about to become less available. For example, it’s not good for your baby to attempt night weaning just before you return to work. Try to undertake night weaning a long time before or considerably after you make such a change. It’s also not a good idea to try night weaning during a vacation or shortly after a move. Your baby can be affected by these changes in her routine. She will naturally want to connect with you at night if she is in a strange place or if she has less of your time during the day.
  • If you’re the one who comforts your baby when he cries at night, try having your partner attend to the baby. The smell of you or your breast milk can make your baby want to feed.
  • Throughout the process, gently soothe and comfort your baby when he wakes. Explain that it's sleepy time. Repeat gentle soothing, but firm words such as “sh,sh” or “night night” while patting his back or tummy. Even though he's too young to understand your words, most babies gradually understand the meaning, and your presence soothes them.     

Play

  • Be sure to keep any play that takes place just before bed quiet and calming such as reading a book or giving baby a massage. A revved up baby may fall asleep in exhaustion, and then wake up in the middle of the night with energy left to burn off.
  • Don’t reward your baby with play in the middle of the night. Some parents feel that if their baby is awake, they might as well get up and play. Keep nighttime for sleeping and daytime for play.

Teach

  • Wean slowly and gradually. This is the most important key to successful night weaning. Remember that your baby is still young and has a tremendous need for comfort, closeness and reassurance—particularly from his parents.
  • Very gradually give your baby less time on each breast or a little less milk at each feeding.
  • Very gradually prolong the intervals between feedings by patting and comforting your baby. This will gently urge him to go back to sleep.
  • Make sure your baby gets plenty to eat throughout the day. Offer your child extra feedings in the evening so he won't be hungry in the middle of the night. Wake him for a final feeding before you go to bed.

 

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Reading with your Baby

by Maxine
Posted August 18 2010 06:03pm
Filed under:

 

For some parents, the idea of reading to their newborn seems ridiculous. If the baby can’t speak or understand, why would they be interested in a story? But child development experts are quick to assure new parents that reading to their child is one of the most important things that they can do.

Reading to your baby right from birth, even during pregnancy, can make a big difference in your child’s development. It’s a way to communicate with your baby that will help him build his language skills. Through reading, you’re also comforting your baby. You’re involved by touching, rocking and speaking to him. And when you read, you’re playing with him. You can make sound effects or ask questions or try commenting on what he’s looking at. It’s a chance to teach your baby about colours, shapes, feelings, how people act and react and what the world is all about.

It may seem strange that all of those things help your baby before he can even talk, but there are even more benefits. Experts believe that early literacy helps your baby increase his vocabulary and attention span. He’ll develop an eagerness to read and learn. He’ll know how to handle books, understand how to put sentences together, predict what happens next in a story, increase his social skills, bond with you and identify his feelings.

The best time to start reading to your baby is actually during pregnancy.
There is evidence that reading to your baby while in the womb promotes bonding and baby comes to prefer his parents’ voices. In research studies, babies have even shown a preference for songs or stories that they had been exposed to before they were born.

With a baby, it can be tough to hold their attention to read them a story. Try to choose books with large print and pictures that will keep your baby interested. Speak in the slightly higher pitched, animated simple words that are often called “parentese.” Make sure your baby is comfortable, dry and fed so that he won’t be distracted as you read. And, as much as it might seem repetitive to you, try to read the same book every day for a while. It will help develop your baby’s memory, plus your baby will start to look forward to the pictures and words on the next page.

Let your baby touch the book you are reading. Touch is a central part of human learning. We all learn especially well when we can pick up and handle materials. For babies, experts generally recommend board books because they are safer (much harder to chew), plus they’re great for helping babies learn to exercise their fingers and hands.

If your baby fusses when you are reading, don’t try to keep reading or choose a different book. Put the book away and wait for a time when baby is calm. The last thing you want is to have your baby connect fussiness with reading. Always wait for a time when your baby is in a happier mood and then try reading.

Reading with your baby is Comfort, Play & Teach® time:

Comfort

  • If you make reading with your baby a routine, your baby will feel safe and comforted.

Play

  • If you routinely read in an animated way, your baby will be enjoying playtime with you

Teach

  • If you make reading a reading routine, your baby will learn to pay attention, pick up words for his vocabulary, and learn to think ahead.

 

Check out our Reading with Your Baby video for more tips and strategies for reading with your baby.

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First Time Away from Baby

by Maxine
Posted August 19 2010 09:55pm
Filed under:

Some parents look forward to their first outing without their new baby, while others dread it. Some are eager to think about something other than diapers and feeding, while others think two hours away from baby is far too long. Whichever category you fall into, there are strategies to help make time away from your little one easier.

For some of you, the first separation may have happened shortly after birth if Mom or your baby were unable to come home right away and were forced to be separated. Maybe a work or family commitment has called upon one or both of you to leave your baby for a few hours. For others, the day hasn't arrived yet. In fact, it may not be for several weeks or months after your baby is born. However, eventually, you will have to leave your baby in someone else's care for the first time.

The Stress of Leaving

It’s hard to leave when you know your baby is still so vulnerable, so you may experience different levels of distress at different times. For example, Dad, you may be going back to work just a few days or weeks after your baby is born while Mom may not leave baby for any reason for a couple of months.

Leaving your baby can be a very emotional time. It can bring up feelings of worry, guilt or even a sense of emptiness. These emotions can strengthen if your baby is upset just before you leave or is difficult to console when you return. You may feel terrible that your baby cried for a long period of time or refused to eat when you weren’t there. It's important to recognize that there is a wide range of experiences as to how parents react in general and how you react in particular when that "first time away" happens.

Dealing with It

If leaving your baby for the first time isn't that difficult for you, don't question yourself. This certainly isn't a measure of how much you love your baby. Enjoy your time away—guilt free!

However, if you are having a hard time leaving your baby, here are some ways in which to handle your first time apart:

  • Accept the idea that, eventually, you will need to leave your baby in someone else's care.
  • Talk about your feelings with your partner, other family members or friends.
  • Plan and put energy into selecting a childcare provider who provides you with a high level of confidence. Otherwise, when you're gone, you'll just be worried that your baby isn't receiving the level of care that you want her to have. Stress will be your destiny!

Time Away Made Easy

Being prepared for time away can also make it easier. Here are some strategies that can help you prepare.

Teach your baby to be at ease with other adults. Let others hold and comfort your baby. If you're the only one to respond to him when he needs comforting, he will have a more difficult time feeling calm when others take care of him.

Have your babysitter spend some time with your baby when you're home. Don't hover and interrupt. Let the caregiver have some independent time with your child.

Plan a "graduated" absence. The first time, go out for just an hour or even less. Go for a walk or for a cup of coffee. Go out in the yard and read, or go shopping. Each time you go out, stay away a bit longer until both you and your baby get used to the time apart. The idea is to do something where you can control the time and distance you're away.

Carry a cell phone or leave a number where the sitter can reach you. Knowing that they can contact you at any time can be reassuring.

Tell your sitter that you're struggling with the whole separation issue and may be checking in. It's important that your sitter doesn't become offended when you call to check on your baby—maybe even repeatedly. She needs to see it as helpful for your comfort level. Try not to overdo this though. Make a rule; for example, you'll only call once an hour.

Planning your Time Away

Make a plan with your babysitter. You know your baby best. You also know how much discomfort you think your baby can tolerate before you need to become involved. Decide in advance what your limits and your baby's limits are. Do you want to be called if your baby wakes up—no matter what? If so, then tell that to the babysitter. Do you want your babysitter to try her best soothing techniques for 20 minutes, and then if they aren't working, call you? If so, specify that. Babies under 1 year are too young to be left to "cry it out" with a babysitter. If you can't be reached and your baby is having a prolonged crying episode, be sure to list who the babysitter should call.

Plan your first outing so that it fits into your baby's schedule. Go out during your baby's usual sleep time. Plan your time away so it falls between feedings, especially if Mom is breastfeeding. Try going out during a time in the day when your baby isn't fussy.

Don't make a big fuss just before you leave. Your baby will pick up your stress, which is more likely to make him anxious.

Always leave an extra feeding. This is a wise idea, just in case you return later than you planned.

On your return, fall back into the usual routine. Avoid trying to make up to your baby for being gone. There is nothing to feel guilty about; you've done nothing wrong by taking some time for yourself.

 

How did you handle your first outing without your baby? How did you plan in advance? Leave a comment below and share your story with other parents just like you!

 

 

 

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